Family
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The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don’t. But in the end, they’re the people you always come home to. Sometimes it’s the family you’re born into, and sometimes it’s the one you make for yourself.
— Carrie Bradshaw
Quote, Home LifeShafinazComment
Ennui

The last couple of months was a blur to me. I feel like I’m living an automated life, day in day out. My life was pretty much uneventful. Not that it’s a bad thing but I feel like something’s missing. I feel like I’m floating around directionless in this vast empty void. It’s like I don’t know which way to go because I don’t know where to go!

So last Wednesday night I had a sudden breakdown. It’s not like I’m sad or whatever, I just felt like crying. I was actually doing nothing, just lying on my bed with my eyes closed listening to some slow songs with my earphones on to ease myself to sleep and for some unknown reason tears started flowing down my cheeks. And suddenly a rush of emotions came to me that I started bawling and sobbing like crazy. That night I cried myself to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to super puffy eyes that not even eye masks can make it better. I kept thinking of what happened the night before. Of why I suddenly cried like that. Of what was I thinking of when I cried. There’s really nothing in my life right now that could’ve made me feel sad that I’d cried so hard like that. And then I realized I haven’t cried like that in such a long time because life is pretty much good for me right now.

Who says you can only cry when you’re sad, right?

People cry when they are happy. People cry when they are stressed. People cry when they are angry. People also cry when things are hard. So why can’t I cry when I’m feeling nothing? Having that thought in my head kinda make me feel better. I guess we do need to cry a little in life to kind of balance it out, eh? I guess that is what we call life.

ThoughtsShafinazComment
Don't Beat Yourself Up
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How could you have worked harder? What more could you have done? You did your very best, but you weren’t given any opportunity. So just blame the world instead. The world should’ve tried harder. The problem was that the world never gave you any opportunity. It should do its best. Curse and cry all you want. Don’t beat yourself up.
— Kim Je-Hyeok, Prison Playbook
Spring Day